December 31, 2009

And yet another day passes without homework. I was productive though! I cleaned most of my room...until my dad decided he had nowhere better to be than in my room sleeping. Anyways, I'm going to try to do my 365 again but I'm not so sure if it'll work out very well. It's worth a shot though I guess. *sighs* I don't know what to do. I seriously just sat here for an hour trying to figure out what to do when I realized just how isolated I am and as I was sorting through some old things and reminisced about the past....all of this feeling isn't recent. It's actually been like this...all my life. I just never realized it like this before. *even bigger sigh* Oh, how fail I am. So now to just try to "fix" everything. That's all I can do, try. Now, I'm off to finish cleaning.

December 30, 2009

So I've been feeling like a complete wreck lately and most of the devastation occurs during the late hours of the night. (of course) I don't know what I'm going to do to fix it, but I'll fix it eventually. (nevermind that I've been trying to do that for the past year or so) At the moment, I feel like the biggest problem is the lack of feeling needed. TSA is gone...until I (hopefully) become an alumni. Florida Guard is gone. (I only needed a few more action hours! sigh;) School is meh. My grades are still okay, but not where I'd like them. The motivation just isn't there anymore. I don't know. =\
Anyways, my original reason for writing this post...well, this blog...my Project 365. The new year is coming up soon. Should I start Day 1 with the new year? I want to. Maybe the mindset of the whole "it's a new year!" will subconsciously fix everything. haha. It might just work. My mind is weird. I haven't started on my homework; I really need to do that. And I didn't get a chance to make my website like I wanted. I kind of forgot with all this procrastination. xD I spend most of last week laying around and hanging out with my cousins, not wanting to do homework, thinking well...it is break, I should have some time to relax. But, of course, it wasn't really relaxing if I kept thinking about the things I needed to do. So I guess for now, the plan is to start my Project 365 with the start of the new year. If that fails, I'll start it when I'm off to college. That sounds like a good starting point to, plus I'll have more things to photograph, I think. I'm also getting a new lens sometime soonish. *sigh* no se, no se, no se sobre mi vida.

December 28, 2009

I've been long overdue for a blog post and its time to just put everything out there and delete it later. I have an immense feeling of loneliness at the moment. I don't know how I was able to even fall asleep. Anyways, I did and woke up from a really icky feeling, and I realized...I had no one to call. (Well, I could call...but I think I've been enough of an annoyance.) I feel like everything has been flip-flopped. I feel vulnerable. Everything was going so well in the beginning, and what I thought should've only gotten better over time...dwindled and now here I am....feeling..not how I should be feeling. Today is the start of a tremendous amount of homework, even my horoscope agrees. It advises I shut everything out and work. (I hope writing this at 5am doesn't count.)
Anyways, as anyone could guess, Phil and I are kinda funky again. This time, I'd say it was my fault for being so insecure and now I've put myself in a worse situation, far from ideal. Although, it's only been a few days, not talking to him...sucks. I don't know what to do. The consensus is that I should've gotten over him a long long time ago and need to get over him now.....I don't want to do that. It's not something I can describe or even begin to. I just know that no matter how much I complain, while I'm with him..I'm always smiling. I can complain all I want about stupid things, but in the end, I wouldn't trade it for anything. All the stupid things that have occurred in the past. All the things I wish never happened...things that I think would make life so much more enjoyable if they had happened differently and I know at exactly whichc points I screwed up.
At the moment, after re-reading what I just typed, I'm starting to tear up and I feel stupid. Lonely..and stupid. Just plain idiotic...not for writing the above...but for getting to where I am. It's not a fun place to be and I wish I wasn't here.
Christmas was fine. Nothing too exciting. Just another reminder that I don't like where I am right now. The cousins came over, that was fun. In regards to presents, uhmm I got Wii Fit Plus. woohoo? Aside from that, nothing really useful. Just things that'd take up more space in my already crowded room. I'm not upset that I didn't get anything "good". I'm upset because it felt like...no one cared. My favorite present is still...the card I got from Phil.
Gah, I don't know. It's not like I got anyone else anything (aside from my family) or have been talking to anyone really. I don't know why I should expect anything. In a sense, I don't feel like initiating anything because I feel like I shouldn't need to be the initiator...like it should be the other way around. But, I know that if I don't do something, why should I think I deserve someone else to?
Ah well, now I'm at a lost for words and falling back asleep. Ah..sleep, an escape from all of this...except for when I end up dreaming about it...

December 3, 2009

First of all, Happy Birthday Jacob!! =D He's 7! So my MLIA: Today, it's my brother's birthday. I spun him around 7 times since he turned 7. I was the one who go dizzy. Anyways, I'm so over and done with school! Gahhhh. 6 more months! I want to get out of IB and into college and just be....somewhere NOT here! Just tired tired tired and bored. It's only 8 and I want to be in bed.

My Birthday! =D

*woooo!* I'm 18!! hehe. Yesterday was awesome. Thanks to everyone that spent the day with me. =] We found 7 geocaches, spent some time at the park, and hung out at my house. I also went to go watch Old Dogs with Phil. It was quite a good movie choice. There were more people then I'd have thought, more of the older crowd. Anyways, I've got lots and lots of pictures to go through. Plans for today include going to church, buy lotto tickets, and going down to Mr. Zhangs for lunch. =D

November 22, 2009

Great geocaching weekend! Can't wait for more geocaching this week. I got a geocaching app for my phone! =D We found 3 geocaches this weekend and a geocoin! =D I'll have to take a picture of it soonish. The meet and greet was pretty cool, but I spent most of time geocaching. We introduced Keoki to it though. So you can't say I didn't mingle! hah.

November 19, 2009

I cannot wait for Thanksgiving break to come!!! Today was an okay day. It could've been better but at least it wasn't worse. I'm really tired and going back to sleep. Can't wait for geocaching this weekend! and meet and greet with pslhs IB kids? more like, hanging out with Kurtis!! =D hah.

November 17, 2009

It is 3:15am and I'm taking a break from my dreaded Extended Essay. I have 3 more sections to complete before I need to freak out about my work count. I currently have 1686 words and the next two sections involved a lot of ranting so I should be fine *crosses fingers* Well, I'm back to work. I have approximately 3 hours to finish this.

Geocache

It is so much fun! Kyle and I found one at Cracker Barrel today before going to the VNA Air Show. The Air Show wasn't as busy this year and we left early. Since it was still daylight, 7 of us decided to go do some more geocaching. We searched 5 areas but came up with nothing. It was super fun though! We found an awesome bridge.I forgot to take a pic of it though. We're definitely going back there next weekend to search for it. The pic to the right is from "Off Your Rocker - Jensen Beach". I definitely got my share of exercise today. My legs are dead, and I'm slightly sunburned on my face. Kyle got raccoon eyes though hah. =P Gahh geocaching is so amazing. =]

November 13, 2009

Overall, okay week of school. Found a geocache today! =D So much fun. Going to find two more tomorrow before the airshow. hehe. Definitely need to do this more often and conquer the area. EE is interesting. Oh, and Happy Birthday Ei-Ei!

Disappointment

Well it's been about 6 hours and still no product. I have come to realize a few things though. Going to LPA has been a waste, minus a few people. I remember one of my main motivations being: I need money, LPA gets a ton of money, therefore I need to go to LPA. FALSE. There is nothing special with that school that I couldn't have accomplished elsewhere. I submitted my college apps the other day and worked on a few scholarships and my major accomplishments were completed NOT at LPA. Almost everything I've done, I think, could have still occurred without having to do through this crap. I no longer feel any purpose. I just don't. The only thing is that if I don't do this then life will just get more complicated, which I don't want. I feel isolated. No amount of talking will change this. He was right. I too wonder where I've gone and that who I've become is not who I am. I need to fix this but how? I have so much built up stress. At this point, I'd rather be a robot and just get things done without a care, but of course, I can't do that. Why do I have to be this way? Why do I put myself in these positions? I feel pathetic. I feel frustrated. I feel laksdjflsdjf. I feel like escaping, disappearing until I get myself together. Never before have I been this discontented with life. Sure sure things could be worse. Things could always be worse, but that doesn't help how I feel right now. I really don't know what else to say. I just feel petty.
My essay is crap. It seriously will be the worse thing I've produced. Worse not really being the essay itself but the one thing I feel disappointed in myself for making. Procrastinating is fine. Not producing work to the best of my abilities is fine. BSing is sometimes fine. Submitting something I don't really put forth myself into is not fine. I'm not sure if that's really making any sense and I hope I'm not putting forth the wrong impression. I just don't know how to explain this feeling I have about this essay. Either way, I suppose it's time for me to get back to working on it. I'm glad we didn't have school today. I wouldn't be able last this week if we had.

November 9, 2009

Meh. Not feeling so well. I wish my blog was more interesting. Not just for you but for me. hah. I'm not quite interesting. Anyways, today went pretty well I suppose. I got 100 on my history quiz! =] and...a 67 on my biology test! xD I have a few things I should do before I go to sleep but yeah, I just don't feel well. I'm also feeling ignored. I have a feeling something's up with Phil. sigh; On the other hand, my EE is due in a week! *dies* I keep feeling like I have another week. My birthday will be here before I know it! oh well.

November 8, 2009

I noticed that the past few days I'd wake up around 5:15am. Well, not really wake up because I'd fall asleep but still. It's odd. Anyways, I slept in a bit today. Then, I paid for my UM application and browsed UF's housing. After, I went with my mom to the asian store. I didn't find anything interesting today. =[ I did get some onion flavored ramen though which was yummy. I'm going to have to a buy a box of that next time, I'm getting tired of beef flavored. xD When I got home, I continued with college related things by searching and applying for scholarships. I completed 2 and in process of 7? It's a start. =D Now, I just need to get in my transcripts and counselor/teacher recommendations. *wooooot* I'm just thatttt much closer to going to college. =D I'm feeling quite confident. Since I've procrastinated on college stuff and caught up with it quite a bit, now I need to focus focus focus on my Extended Essay. But, first....sleep! g'nite! =P

November 7, 2009

I spent the morning helping Kyle sort cans for scouts. Spent the afternoon with the kiddies and the evening with Kyle and Jen. We watched Twilight and V for Vendetta. hah. Twilight because we're seeing New Moon in a few weeks and wanted to introduce Kyle to glittering vampires. and V for Vendetta because the 5th of November had just passed and neither of them had seen the movie. After the movies, I was quite tired. Now, I'm just chillin. Today was quite relaxing and chill. I'm going to sleep early and spend all of tomorrow on work. =]

November 6, 2009

I have been so exhausted all day! I'm actually quite surprised I haven't taken a nap yet. My priorities for this weekend are EE, Spanish Oral, and College Apps. Thank goodness it's Friday! It was about time the weekend came around. The bio test today was horrible. I'll be lucky if I get a C!
For now though, I think I'm going to work on college apps and then go to sleep early. Going to go with Kyle to help with scouts in the morning. Oh oh and I played Pokemon today with Jenny and Jacob. lmfao. I won 2 games. xD

November 5, 2009

Remember remember the 5th of November. heh. Anyways. Harbor Branch days have been going by fast. way to fast, actually. EE is due in a little over a week! gah! =\ I need to do my Spanish oral too. Everything else has been going pretty fine though. I just need to take a breath and keep going. I'm feeling extremely tired right now. I don't really know why. I think I'm going to skim through Biology, then go to sleep. I feel like I'm crashing. Today was a very huh? day. I really need to pick up the pace. It is crucial that I do. I just need a weeeeee bit more motivation and I'll be good to go. My eyes keep closing as I'm typing this so that's a sign that I need to get off of the computer and study before I crash. Good night.

November 4, 2009

oh hai there. =] nothing much to say. I actually don't remember the last time I posted. (that can't be good) but I do know it wasn't too long ago. I'm very bad with the whole time thing. iIm very forgetful. I need to get my spanish oral done even though i don't go for 2 weeks. I also need to get my EE done! lol. That's much much more important. hmm..what else...ooh oh I got a 93 on my history test! =D Aside from that, I went to Harbor Branch again today. It was a pretty chill and quick day. Last night's NCIS was pretty good. Nothing can compare to the first episode of the season though. That episode was EPIC. and there's no Glee today. =[ (now, I'm just being random xD) I was a creeper for about 20minutes today. Woahh is all I can say. Oh and family "drama" is phooey. It's so stupid!!! Words cannot even describe how retarded this situation is. Personally, I think it's getting more complicated then it should and that it's not good for their health. meh. Off to go do homework. hasta luego. =]

November 2, 2009

I got pretty lucky with spanish and english today. I'm escaping with a 3.0 this nine weeks! I did horribly on my Summer test. History quiz went so-so. I couldn't find 3 of the answers. Oh, and I got a leaf on the Tree of Knowledge! =D

"It is imperative to think of others when making decisions but to never forget yourself. It is when you forget yourself that you forget your purpose."

(thank you essay that I had to do for UF) hah.

Yesterday, I pretty much slept all day. I was awake for maybe 3-5 hours total? yep. I felt icky. So, I slept. Definitely didn't help me in the homework area but oh well. Now, I must go work on my CAS book. Oh, and since I forgot to post yesterday.... Happy Birthday Virak and Landon!! =D

October 31, 2009

I didn't sleep until 2am. I woke up at 7:45 and finished my UF application. *wooo* Then I went with Kyle to do stuff for scouts. After, I went to a Pokemon tournament with Jenny and JJ. It was better than I thought but still meh. Phil came over afters. It was good to see him again. =] We hung out and went to McDonalds. He attempted to teach me how to skateboard. hah. I think I can do it. I just need to practice a bit more. I'll get it down before I leave for college. It shall be my mode of transportation. Now I'm just chilling, hoping that not too many more kids come by. Maybe I'll do some work.

October 30, 2009

I spent the morning/afternoon laying around the house. I went to a Florida Guard meeting at 3. We got new hats. I keep thinking of train conductors whenever i see them. hah. Then, I went to WalMart with my mom. We bought Cheetos that made your tongue turn blue. We gave them to Jenny and JJ after dinner and took pictures. It was hilarious. They had no idea what we were laughing at and neither of them found out. I then spent the rest of the evening watching TV and eventually starting my UF application. Guess what?! It's all done! (except for confirming residency and paying for it) But yeah, cool eh? I finished my essay and everything. =] I'll have Jen read over it tomorrow before the final send off, but it wasn't as bad as I thought. =P Quite painless if you ask me. =D Tomorrow is going to be a busy busy day. I'm going with Kyle in the morning to help him with scouts. Then, I'm going to a pokemon tournament with Jenny and JJ. -.- Then, hopefully I get to hang out with Phil!! hehe. Hopefully everything will turn out great. I don't get to celebrate V's birthday though. =[ I hope he has an awesome time tomorrow. It's 2am and it's time for me to sleep! Good night!

October 29, 2009

*yay!* for 3 1/2 day weekend! =D I'm currently stuck outside of my house because I left my keys at home and forgot no one would be home when I got home. Sigh; There's always someone at my house! So now, I have to sit out here until they get back from picking up my brother and sister. I got a 1890 on my SAT (1250 without writing). I'm going to sign up to take the December SAT and ACT. I figured two tries for each test should be good. hah. Oh, and I had to do a trick for magic day. It was lameeeee. But it worked. xD I'm probably going to sleep for the rest of the day when they get home. I've got a bunch of stuff to do this weekend. And there was something else I was going to say but I completely forgot. Oh well.
--edit: I fell asleep waiting for them to get home. Apparently, they spent five minutes looking for me even though I was sitting in front of the front door. xD! I was going to take a nap but decided to go to the civic center for the evening. I played pool and air hockey and did a short workout in the gym. It worked out pretty well. =] Now, I'm apparently flagged for missing too many days of school and on the radar for being kicked out of IB. =\ sigh; Aside from that...good day today. =]

October 28, 2009

The whole day was such a drag and it wasn't just me. It seemed like most of the IB class was about to crash. I took the FAIR test today, as I went to the next passage, I did worse. hah. It was so hard to stay awake in Bio and TOK. So many people were sleeping. I'm so glad tomorrow is a half day. =] 3 1/2 day weekend. wooo! It's going to be filled with EE, CAS, collage apps, and other stuff? sigh; Oh, and I made Jenny a blog to showcase her drawings. She'll be doing a 365 which you can visit at kestrelmesh.blogspot.com. Eventually, I'll make her her own account and give her control, but for now, I'm going to take care of it. That's about it for today! (from what I can remember anyways) I'm uber tired. I need to finish my packets.

Political "Cartoon"

The history assignment was to create a political cartoon concerning the Versailles Treaty. The 'cartoon' turned into pretty much meaning just some kind of image. So, here's what I came up with. xP

This is Germany scuttling their ships when Britain let their guard down.

October 27, 2009

I want to go back to taking my nap! I've gots lots to do today. There is no way I can escape without staying up tonight, which means no NCIS either. =[ So before I go into all of the work I need to do tonight, I'd just like to say that I'm sitting on a 3.0 right now!!!! =D (BABACCB) I'm passing all of my classes. *yay!* My grade in history went from a 63 to a 71. hehe. Okay so for the work I have to do as soon as I finish this post. Close reading of Summer and just finish reading the book in general. A few math problems. (I could probably get away with not doing that..) I have to create a political cartoon. (yep, not analyze...create...that should be interesting) and I have a smallish TOK assignment to make up. hmm..that actually didn't sound so bad. I'm probably forgetting something. Oh well. Today started out well. I wasn't grouchy! lol. So I had some energy in me but during lunch, I could feel myself starting to crash. I'm exhausted right now, but I'm going to stay up! If anything, I'll finish my TOK and history and deem myself worthy of a new NCIS episode. hah. =P
So I used a spreadsheet and created a grade calculator to mess around with my grades. The outcome being...I can get as low as a 2.5 depending on how many grades are added to this nine weeks...or....a 3.0! =D

October 26, 2009

I ended up not going to school today. I practically had a panic attack this morning before falling back asleep. Thankfully my parents didn't try to wake me back up. (If they did, I have no recollection of it.) I had the weirdest dreams last night. There were 3, each of them causing stress in one way or another. I did not like it at all. I finished my history assignment around 3ish. Boy was I glad to have that done! Then, I ate and worked on close reading. I'm on chapter 6 right now. I spent some time talking with Kyle. I hope he feels betterer soon. I'm already making plans for this long weekend. =D Hopefully Phil can come down and we can hang out for a little bit. Aside from that I've got to work on my EE, CAS book, and college apps and maybe helping Kyle with scouts. I've set my bedtime for 12:45am tonight. I have an hour left. Time to get back to work!

FML.

So I talked to Mr. Norman for a little bit earlier tonight. It's so hard not to tear up a little bit because it reminds me of TSA. Yeah, it's a little overemotional. I just miss having the responsibility and knowledge of hey, this is something I'm good at and can do on my own. It was something that not everyone else was in on, if that makes any sense. It wasn't just another activity to pass the time. I just have to keep reminding myself that I won't be able to actually dedicate myself to it. Any stress that it may bring would be so worth it; I just can't handle it.
With that already missing this year, I feel even more isolated with Kyle, Alex and Phil gone. Sure I can text or call or chat with them online but it's just not the same. It's the interactions throughout the school day and week that made time slow down yet pass by faster. It made life manageable. I really miss Phil. =\ Yes, even after all of the stupid ranting I've done about him. I still miss him incredibly. At this point, you can even accuse me of just missing the comfort, but I don't care. I miss him.
I'm being so emotional about the above two things, it's ridiculous. Anyways, aside from that, I should be working on a long overdue history assignment. I'm on page 5 out of the average 9/10? Not only that but it just hit me that I have an English test tomorrow which means I need to read a book and do the close reading. Even after all the work I did Friday and Saturday. Sigh; I'm glad I got to go bowling. It's the nap that killed me. I just wasn't feeling well. I had to go snooze. Well even after all of my productivity, I still can't help but think so much for trying to have a productive weekend. I still have so much to do. I really want to stay home tomorrow, but I shouldn't. I can't. Oh dear, and I have to face Spanish too. And a Math test! Oh aren't I going to be a happy camper tomorrow! Sigh. I shall try to collect myself and get this done.

October 25, 2009

Went bowling with Jen, Kyle, and Alex this morning! =D I lost. =[ But it was uber fun. I definitely hope we can do this more often and eventually we'll all be pros! (or at least get 80 per game haha) When I got home I tried to work on my history right away and get it done with but I couldn't concentrate. I decided to take a nap and wake up at 3 but didn't wake up til almost 6. =\ I didn't feel well at all when I woke up. My mommy made honey bbq wings again. My grandma loves them. lol. Now, to finish my long overdue history assignment. Oh and I've decided that if I ever become a teacher, any and all late assignments must have some kind of entertainment value to them. xP Oh and my mom called me fat. ouch. I need to go to the gym. Perhaps that's the next thing I'm going to incorporate into my life.

October 24, 2009

1:10pm - I stayed up til 1am working on my calc packet. I just finished it about a half hour ago? Now I'm having some broccoli soup and fried rice. =] Next, history!?
8:40pm - I'm half way through with History! It has been one long productive day. It's a good thing I took my nap yesterday otherwise I would have slept all day today. I'm going to do one more section before I take a shower and I'll probably go to sleep after that. Bowling tomorrow morning! <3 Gotta be up at 7:30am and then I get to terrorize Jen, Kyle, and Alex with my driving. muahahaha. ;D

October 23, 2009

TGIF! UF meeting this morning was such a relief. I just need to get my application in ASAP. I have a lot of close reading to do. =\ I need to get my EE together! I'm very grateful for being able to turn in an assignment really late to only get a 50 for it. I got a 90 on my photosynthesis test! I can't wait for this Sunday! I'm going to get so much done today and tomorrow. It's going to be insane. =] So to start it off....it's calculus time!! Oh and magic day on Thursday? lame. Help me find an awesome magic trick to learn? (Oh, and sorry for the randomness in wording...I just woke up from an awesome nap. xP)

--edit: It was a 94 on the bio test! hehe. Also, when I printed out my calc packet, my printer gave me random extra sheets of paper. I called it stupid. As I was working on my packet, I found that some questions didn't have space to work out the problems. Thank you printer for realizing I would've stopped working on my homework due to being too lazy to go get any paper. hah. And, this song came up on Slacker. It's oddly paced, but I liked the chorus. Give it a listen. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTALLCna6gY It's called Live Like We're Dying by Kris Allen.

October 22, 2009

Tuesday night was epic! So I know this is bad prioritizing but I spent the evening watching WongFuProductions stream live from Buffalo, NY. I didn't start my close reading until midnight. Totally worth it! lol. They should 3 videos that won't be released for another few months. That was cool. I can't wait for the episodes with KevJumba! =] I accidentally slept all day yesterday. The lack of sleep caught on. So, I stayed home to get caught up on everything. My horoscope - "Your imagination is the key to a lot of things, whether it's jazzing up that history assignment or coming up with some new, fun plans for you and you friends. They sky's the limit." A sign? I think so. Right now my grade sits at a 2.7. I think I can perform a miracle and get it to be a 3.0. Now I'm working on stuff for TOK. meh. The night is still young, I'll get it done. Anyways, bowling around 9ish on Sunday anyone? =]

October 20, 2009

I did an epic job on my history assignment last night. =D I didn't sleep until about 1am but I woke up at 5:20 and was ready by 5:35. I couldn't even stand straight it was funny. I was very speedy in school today, like walking fast wherever I went, but I wasn't grumpy! xP I'm so glad we can use our packets on our math test because that being the case then I can pass. I have a bunch of literary devices to do for English tonight. I haven't really started yet, and there's new NCIS tonight!! =\ Okay well Alex called and the show started and I'm just going to wait until tomorrow to watch it. He also discovered Chris! lmao. He made the connection that the Chris in his computer class was the Chris and now Chris is asking me to play an MMO with him, which would mean me being on top of my school work. So he's going to have to wait a few weeks, and I declined the MMOs he offered and it's either Cabal or nothing. hah. I haven't played that in forever. Oh, and I just remembered what I was going to mention earlier. I'm all caught up with work! (Kind of!) Let's just say I'm very glad that my list of like 20 items is now down to 5 and everything is caught up except for 2 things and the rest are current assignments. *yay!* Aside from that, I'm just ranting and It's now way passed the time I was supposed to start reading Summer and doing my literary devices. So, I'm off to go do that. =] Oh, and meteor shower in the morning! I'm going to try to watch it. 5:30am.

October 19, 2009

And the frustration just keeps adding on! Now, it's not school...it's just other stuff. GAH! But I did get a 95 (102 with extra credit) on my biology test! hehe. =] I just disliked that the two questions I got "wrong" were questions I knew the answer to, sigh dyslexia. College wise, I'm looking more at going to UF or UCF rather than UM. I don't really have a reason why. Just thought I should put that out there. Oh, and I gelt so bad for Glen today! After the NHS meeting, I offered to help him put away the chairs and tables. After the four of us helped him break things down, I wondered how long it would've taken him to do that by himself...along with having to bring in the other desks for testing. He deserves some happy vibes. Anyways, when I finally got home, I talked to Alex for about an hour. It was nice to have someone to talk to...and rant. xP Now, I need to get my history work done. Slowly but surely things will get done. I just need to do current stuff along with getting the little stuff out of the way and tackling the bigger stuff one step at a time. =] I can will do this!
--edit: Check this out! It is amazing and cute and inspirational. =D
http://thedesigninspiration.com/articles/teenage-photographer-365-days-of-danboard/

Goals

There's a few things I want and I felt the need to post them in a post at this very moment.

1. I want my license and a car to drive. I want the feeling of being able to go somewhere if I wanted to just get out of the house for a little bit. Which leads into...
2. I want to go to the gym or do something active regularly. Something practically straight after school every other day or so and worked into a routine. [My brother just scared my aunt as she exited the bathroom. LMAO.]
3. I want income. Small or large makes no difference, just some responsibility outside of school. Something to fill the void of TSA.
4. I want to succeed. I need the motivation to keep up with school. It's been lacking for quite some time and I really need it back. I've been barely making it and it's not acceptable.
5. I need to apply for college. Not much more to say than that.

There's nothing else to really list. Now, just some rambling.
I want to be feel more independent. More like, I need a life because sitting in my room all day is not productive. I seriously don't understand how I'm able to stay in this space for long periods of time. It's ridiculous. I want something outside of school to do, like go to the gym, because there's no TSA this year. I don't have that responsibility nor a goal to fulfill. I think the best way to describe me right now is Lost. Things are just all jumbled together, and they need to be straightened out. I'm frustrated the most by my lack of productiveness. I sit in my room all day. I shouldn't have an excuse to not be on top of my work and yet here I am with a bunch of assignments to do that I wouldn't have if I had just done them when they were supposed to be done. The one thing I hope for tonight is the ability to stay up late to get as many things done as possible.

October 18, 2009

Started off the day with two rounds of bowling. I won. =] I think we should make an effort to go more often. Perhaps not every sunday but at least once or twice a month to relax and catch up with each other. Less than $5 per person for 2 games and shoes is a pretty awesome deal if u ask me. =P That or we can go play pool up in fort pierce. It's $1 a game. =] Or we could even just go to the civic center. =] Anyways, I'm going to continue doing my homework. I have 4 sets of math homework to finish. Then, I'm going to finish the bio packet and shower and eat and work on some other stuff if I still have time.

October 17, 2009

For some reason, it's happening again. How does time fly by so fast? It's almost 7 and I have yet to start any work. I worked on the shirt again for a little bit. It ended up black and white by the time I stopped. It should have more color, but I can't find a place to put it! Anyways, I just woke up from an unnecessary nap. My breathing is kind of weird at the moment. I don't really know what to make of it. In other news, I really hope to go bowling tomorrow morning! =] I just need to double check the plans with my dad. I really dislike this feeling I'm having right now. It's really weird to explain. It primarily feels like something is missing or that I need to be doing something. (and yes, I know I need to be doing my work..) But this feels...just odd. I don't really know how to explain it much more than that. Today's horoscope was pretty accurate today too, but I don't remember what it said nor do I feel like getting my phone right now. I just remembered thinking that it was right. xD Oh well, I'm going to go find something to drink and get to working on this work.

October 16, 2009

You would think that with start this blog and having the date as the title I wouldn't have a problem remember the date during the day. I've been getting my dates wrong all week long. The only thing I can remember is that Monday is the 19th, but I'm too lazy to do any calculating. This weekend is going to be filled with a lot of work, and I will get it done. I've made my list and class by class, I will catch up! For now, I think I'm going to take a nap and just relax. When I wake up I'm going to start with Spanish and hopefully finish with Math. Tomorrow, I plan to work on History and my Extended Essay, and then I'll finish up with English and Biology on Sunday. Ideally, I'll get all of this done. Hopefully, I can get most of it done. I'm really ready to be done with this procrastination. If I get the chance, I'll also do some college stuff. I just realized that the UF regular application is due November 1. Gah! So, UF and UM need to be taken care of ASAP. Oh, and I'm starting to rethink my major again. Sigh; I don't know what I want to do. I'm still aiming around advertising/photojournalism/visual communication/photography, business management, and secondary mathematics education. Any opinions? Also, would anyone like to go bowing on Sunday? I think that if I do all of this work, a few hours of bowling is well deserved. =P
--edit: I ended up not doing any homework. It's only 9:30pm, and I think I'm going to call it a night. I did some more brainstorming for the nexus shirt. I still can't figure out anything for the front that won't look icky. Aside from that, I very much enjoyed this finding. "There are only 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don't." =]

October 15, 2009

The morning started out energizing. I spent an hour in bed just eyes wide open but too lazy to get up. I finally fell back asleep but had to wake up 20mins later to get ready for school. This morning was entertaining. I had a big arrow pointing to the tv with the word Look! above it. I enjoyed seeing people stare at the tv. =P I got a 24/26 on the scantron portion of the bio test! Anyways, today is a work day because I really really really need to get this work done. No more procrastinating! =D Oh, and I like my horoscope for today too. "Make sure you're focusing on the little details that make up the current project or situation you are dealing with. The big picture just isn't as important right now, so let it go!" Immediately after reading that I thought of my big picture as graduating with my IB diploma and the details as the current semester, and today, I feel like doing work! Funny how these things work out. I guess I'm off to work! (perhaps after a short nap. =])

October 14, 2009

First, a short play-by-play. Good in Spanish. Having Math and English in the cafeteria was a MAJOR help! Paced around 4th hour. Thankful in History. Accomplished in Biology. Frustrated since TOK. In a matter of...3-4 hours, I learned about Cellular Respiration! I actually think I did pretty good on that bio test. The "hardest" of them all...and it's going to be my best test grade for the quarter. At the moment, I'm kinda grouchy. Aside from doing much better than expected in Bio (though I won't know for sure until later), today seemed to be...offensive, in multiple scenarios. I do like my horoscope for today though! "You don't have to rush ahead. You can take your sweet time. It's a nice day and you should try to enjoy it. You'll get there when you get there, and they will totally understand." =] As for the offensive stuff, I'm just going to forgive and forget about it...for now. Oh, and tell me what you think of this, "If you live doing what you love, you will love living the way you live." Does it sound right? Have you heard it before? Anyways, I'm going to watch last night's episode of NCIS and maybe take a short nap and either before or after the nap, I'm going to eat because I am hungrrrrry.

October 13, 2009

Before I find another reason to procrastinate, I shall get my blog post out of the way. =] I took two quizes in Spanish today. I know I got a few wrong on each one. I have tons to do for Math. My English commentary was 3.5mins long. She said I mentioned a few key points but I needed to elaborate more, but I think I did pretty okay. I got a 91 on today's History quiz and Biology was the most confusing class. ever. The exercise that was supposed to help us, I think did more harm than good. It's a good thing I didn't know any of it in the first place! Now, I'm off to go learn about cellular respiration and somehow memorize it all for tomorrow's test. I'm doomed.

--edit: oooh goodbye cellular respiration. helloooooo Red Lobster! ;D

October 12, 2009

First off, Happy Birthday Jenny! =] Next, I didn't go to school today and I had a wicked weird dream. It was pretty cool though, it involved a pretty neat humongous house and there was this guy. This has to have been the third time I've seen him in my dreams but I have no idea who he is and I can't seem to remember much of what he looked like after I wake up, it's driving me nuts! Anyways, I felt sick on and off today, nauseous and wanting to throw up but didn't. Now, I'm going to prepare for tomorrow because I definitely need to not miss anymore school. I've heard that a bunch of people are getting sick again...no round 3 for me please! I'm, again, at a lost for words. So, I'm sorry if some of my sentences seem off. There was something I really wanted to say, but I can't think of it...=\ If I somehow remember, I'll post it in tomorrow's post. Hasta Luego!

p.s. My new high score in pinball is 6,629,250. =]

October 11, 2009

It's almost 9 and I'm glad to finally be home! Phil came over in the afternoon to say bye then I spent the rest of the day at Superplay to celebrate Jenny's birthday, which is tomorrow. I am horrible at bowling! (I won laser tag though =]) On my 3rd frame, I got a strike so I thought "oh, maybe I'm actually good at this!". Then, I got gutter balls for the next 5 frames. xD! Anyways, I'm thinking of maybe planning something for some Sunday morning in the near future. Care to join? Sigh; I'm at a lost for words right now. I get confused mid-sentence. =\ Oh! Oh! I got a score of 4 million on pinball today! I haven't played that in the longest time! That's about it for now. Don't forget to "follow me" if you find me interesting enough. =P

October 10, 2009

Hola! Welcome to my new blog!
I've been wanting to create my own site for quite some time now and after some browsing of tutorials, I've created my design! I haven't started to create the actual site, but this is the blog portion of it. After I figure out the situation with my domain, the rest of the site will be up, hopefully before January. I'm so excited! The rest of the site will have the same general heading with sidebar but the body will of course vary throughout.

Okay, so now for a little update leading to this creation. Phil and I broke up last week. (Yes, I know...short.) We discussed it and decided that it really wasn't the best time, but we're still good friends. (Sorry if you wanted something more dramatic!) I was sick, but finally returned to school on Wednesday. Wednesday was good, but unfortunately, Thursday wasn't. Long story short...The school day was horrible and I arrived home very much aggravated. Instead of taking a shower and going to sleep, I geared my energy towards starting my site. I looked around for some ideas and eventually stumbled upon a few that I liked. I took ideas from various tutorials and came up with a site layout. I spent a total of about 10 hours (6 on Thursday and 4 today) creating the code for this blog. (I used the Black Minima theme and my previous theme as guides.) Anyways, I was initially thinking of something...brighter so this "grunge" (NOT "bling"!) theme might change. But since I have all the coding, it won't be difficult. I also created a potential watermark thing for my photos. Oh, and on Friday, Phil came down from Jacksonville! We ate at Longhorns and went to the mall. The looks we got were priceless. At Longhorns the older ladies were quite shocked at his eating. He scarfed down a soup and two entrees as I had my salad. We loved how the waiter thought I was "light and petite". Then, at Borders, Phil bought one of those $100 life-size light sabers for $50, two zombie books and hunted down some Magic the Gathering cards. Carrying around the light saber was definitely..interesting. Then I slept for the rest of the day. Today, I took the SAT. I think I did decent. For both tests, I've come to the conclusion that getting a high or perfect score is definitely not impossible and that standardized tests are totally overrated. After, I finished the coding for the blog and now plan to work on schoolwork that I really shouldn't postpone any longer.

Let me know what you think! (I'm particularly interested in the color and spacing of everything.)